Tuesday, June 1, 2010

NOTE: This post is somewhat personal, but it's a personal blog, so what the hay. If you don't want to see the personal side of me, close the tab/window, and wait for my next post(s).

Here goes! *holds breath and dives in*
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I recently wondered (via my status update on Facebook), if I will ever be "normal."

Let me explain. You see, as far as I know, most guys actually know how to be good friends with females their own age, without getting delusions of grandeur and romance about these friendships. By which I mean getting a crush on Every. Single.1 One.2

Most guys. Not me. Uh-uh. No, yours truly has to run his heart through the meat grinder for each one before anything resembling a normal friendship with them happens. *facepalm*

Thankfully, there's usually someone whom I can get to slap me real hard (either literally or metaphorically) and snap me out of it. Not always, though.3 And even when there is, it doesn't always "stick".4 :(

It sneaks up on me, too. By the time I see it coming, it's already here, and it's too late to do anything about it except ride it out, or seek out the person who can best do the slapping mentioned above (the identity of this person changes case-by-case).5

Now, I'm getting better at hiding it (I think), so most of the time they don't even know it. Or if they do, they have the good grace to pretend they don't.6 7 8

Anybody9 got any advice?10 This is really annoying to me.11

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1NB: "Single" here is to be read both ways -- individual, and not married. There seems to be a switch somewhere in my head that turns off this whole problem if I know the friend is married. That's good, I guess, since that would just cause more problems. But I digress.

2In turn, of course. Usually not all at the same time, although that did happen once — 'twas a very confusing time for me, let me tell ya!

3When there isn't one, the crush wears off; but it takes a whole lot longer. On the other hand, it usually doesn't hurt (me) as much, either. Kind of 6-of-one, 1/2-dozen-of-the-other, I guess.

4Thus this post.

5You'd think I'd have learned by now! But what am I supposed to do — stop making female friends? I'm pretty sure that's not it.

6For those of you who might be reading this who fall into the "knew it, but pretended you didn't" category — a huge thank you.

7Incidentally, it's the ones that don't know or pretend they don't know, who actually wind up being normal friends later, and usually really good ones. Ironic, ain't it? Sucks for me, though. (Actually, it's good in the long run, but the getting there burns something fierce.)

8Some who have noticed and didn't like it have "back-channeled" their discomfort to me through friends. That's always appreciated. Although every time this happens, I've been over it, or coming out the other end; so they've been behind the curve. Oh well.

9Male or female, any age, married or single — I'm taking all perspectives.

10I've disabled comments here, for this post, just because it's kind of personal, and I feel like I should. So if you've got advice, call me, text me, PM me on FB, send a carrier pigeon, smoke signals, sky writing...something.

11And I imagine it's pretty annoying to the ladies, too.