Tuesday, November 9, 2010

On the porno-scanners (i.e. the TSA's newest "security measure")

Sooo....there's been a lot of stuff flying around about the new "backscatter" scanning technology the TSA is making mandatory. Ok, not mandatory; but the only alternative is a thorough groping that would get any normal person slapped with a restraining order at best.

Here, in no particular order, are a few ways I've come up with to do "peaceful resistance."

1. As you walk through the security line, just strip naked. Stark naked. When you are inevitably asked what the h*** you're doing, say, "just trying to make this go faster!"

2. Opt for the grope-down, then vocally "enjoy" it. Ham it up.

3. Insist on quid pro quo with the Agent, whether you do the backscatter or the groping.

4. Make lewd comments on the way to the groping room. (I'll leave the particulars up to your imagination.)